This time, he wanted Pete, as it was ‘his turn’.Either my acting was good enough to hide the hurt I felt, or no one was paying me enough attention to notice. One small part of my brain knew I was over-reacting, but that part was swamped by a sea of emotions. Though my mind was in turmoil, I wouldn’t let myself break down and cry in a public place. But it was like trying to hold back a tsunami, so I needed to be as far away from others as humanly possible when the wave broke. I abandoned my plan to stay in Sheffield overnight and made a swift exit under cover of the race.No part of my response to the situation was rational. The future psychobabble would involve retrogressive grief over my parents, triggered by the perceived loss of a family member, or some such bollocks. But I didn’t have that level of self-awareness as Torrin drove me back toward London. And the closer we got, the more intense my anxiety grew. Perhaps it was fear of my remaining family rejecting me as Charlie had, or. She had a good laugh, but then called us back the next day. John couldn’t take the time off, but he had (foolishly to my way of thinking) agreed to take care of the boys for a couple of days and she flew down. She couldn’t believe we had sent a plane for her, and then I told her she’d have to come down with just her husband one day and waggled my eyebrows at her. Both she and Marilyn turned bright red and spluttered, which made it money well spent.We had also asked Harriet and Big Bob to come down, but they were going on a Caribbean cruise, and couldn’t make it. They did, however, accept my offer to have them flown to San Juan, Puerto Rico, so they wouldn’t have to fly commercial. They promised to see us after the trip.I didn’t invite my parents. After Suzie and I reconnected, I prevailed on her to get in touch with dear old Mom and Dad. She was nervous about it but made calls. Afterwards she called me, crying. Our mother was damning me to no end, and complained that Suzie wasn’t.
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